no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
