It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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