I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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