My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
