I think my vagina is haunted
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
