I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
