so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
smell my finger.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
