and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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