so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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