Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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