i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize