Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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