so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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