Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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