not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
how does that bad decision feel?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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