i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
