Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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