In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
