Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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