I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
