he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
