I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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