Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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