worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
