we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
