Someone shit on the floor
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
