I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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