I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize