is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
