No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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