nut hugger
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize