There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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