I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's shark week go big or go home
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
