You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
