just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
