I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
