thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
