JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
