I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
