I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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