Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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