in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
