those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
