ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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