i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
