She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
