So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
