Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
