i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
