Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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