I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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