If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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