He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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