I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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