Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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