New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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