So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
