My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
