you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
