One girl and one boy is just not enough.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
