Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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